How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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