Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
