WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
