turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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