I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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