I hate your face
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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