why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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