the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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