Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
