It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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