Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
