just come out here and I will go home with you...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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