My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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