can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
