Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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