After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
