You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
