it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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