oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
