At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
