Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
