If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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