Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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