I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
