so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
