i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
