And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was born a porn star she said
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
