pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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