yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
