Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
another moral hangover. fuck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize