if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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