Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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