maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
