grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
