remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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