While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
