I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When are your genitals available?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
