do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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