I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
