I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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