sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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