Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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