32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
