All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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