Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
