If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
