I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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