thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
