i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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