why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
