Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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