We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
