Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
