I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
