Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
