I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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