i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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