I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't make out with my wife yet
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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