U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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