everyone is single if you try hard enough
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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