I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
